One-o-One stories
by The-Erratic-Lot
Summary: To open the heart and rekindle the soul...of the swarkles lover.
1. Chapter 1

Note: Hello to everyone out there! I believe this is our first formal introduction. I am the Hose who is going to write a total of 101 random and totally unrelated apologues of our favorite couple, before I am dead...Hopefully.

It will go something like this-first the name of the drabble, then the season & episode it may have taken place in, there's the word count after that, and at long last... the chapter itself!

Also for a disclaimer, here's the first and last one you will ever see in this fanfic.  
Not my sandcastle, in the sand, just like to sneak glimpses of the lives in there and simply be Snoopy. (he he, "Curse ya Red Baron!")

Warning: All the actions featured in this fic might just be a little out of character on the parts of our BRotp. (But that does not mean it is not possible. Even we can be a little unpredictable from time to time, to put it mildly.)

Here goes nothing. And don't ya dare say it really was nothing.  
Actually you can, considering the fact that most countries are free nowadays. (Wonder why no one has ever claimed one yet, maybe I will!...Shushhhh! Don't tell anyone.)

Now without further ado, I present to you... the first of one-oh-one stories

* * *

Name: The day, after, Robin lands a freaking helicopter.

Context: Season 7, episode 22.

Word Count: 1,100.

It's somewhere around 8pm and every eye in Mac Laren's is glued to the TV, watching Robin Scherbatsky of the World Wide News pilot it's 'Eye in the Sky' traffic chopper.  
Will she make it?

Well, for those of you getting a sense of deja vu...you must be aware of how this goes. The girl, against all odds, lands that helicopter without any casualties. The only difference here-She doesn't.

Nightmares; it's a world renowned commodity that everyone gets a taste of once in a while. Barney Stinson was no exception, no matter how awesome he might be, which is why he finds himself waking up in a cold sweat; Quinn sleeping by his side. Even her job seems like the most petty issue in the world as compared to what he went through just now.

It's a bit disturbing really that the girl he will wake up to the next morning is not the subject of the hellish dream, considering the fact that it did not feature anyone trying to kill him off.

Heck, that looks like a walk in the park after this.

The only thing which came close to it was his suits being shipped to Ted's.  
Yes offence to him, 'cause seriously, a man who has been a part of all the T-shirt and jeans wearing lemmings out there will never be able to cope up with the four hour attention the suits require. And that just CANNOT happen. At least not till he's alive.

But, this nightmare is about an entirely different phenomenon. Something equally heart wrenching, maybe even more so as he can't really prevent it. Something very... real.

That's the part which scares him the most.

* * *

The clock shows it's 5 am when Barney, out of sheer desperation to make sure that Robin really is okay, calls her up. She picks up the phone after 3 more rings.

"Hello?"  
Her voice is a bit groggy with sleep. And he releases a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"Uhhh, hey Robin! Can you please meet me in front of Mac Laren's... right now?"

He has no idea where that came from but he realises that he really means it, because hearing her voice isn't enough. He needs to see her. Now.

She must have sensed the urgency in his voice as she concedes without any arguments. "Alright, I will be there in twenty minutes."

He suits up in a haze and gets out of the apartment without a second thought.

His heart is thumping like it's trying to run a marathon. He ignores it. An instinct now, just like his heart's tendency to beat out of his chest at the mere mention of anything remotely close to Robin.

The cab ride seems to take forever and by the time he gets to Mac Laren's, she's already there pacing in front of it while blowing on her hands. Normally, he would have made a joke on how she's giving them a blow-job if he wasn't so busy thanking every God he can think of, that she's alive.

Making his way over to her, he can't help but assume that this might just be a trick of the fog that's surrounding them. And seriously he should just kiss her senseless to confirm that she really is there and...

You have a girlfriend Stinson. He starts reprimanding himself. Her name is Quinn.

"What happened Barney? You look like you have seen a ghost."  
Robin says, concern lacing her every word.

"Quinn's my girlfriend..."  
He repeats, loud enough for her to hear.

"Who is a stripper! Yeah Barney, believe it or not, I know! So will the entire world once they see your TV ad today."  
Robin lets out, exasperated.

"And please tell me, you did not call me here to share that piece of general knowledge."  
She continues tiredly.

"General knowledge!"  
He supplements the answer, with a salute.

Robin groans out loud.

"See...this is how we feel when you and Ted do it."

"At least we don't do it after waking up at the crack of dawn and ruining everyone's sleep!" She retorts.

"Actually you kind of did that to Marshall and Lily..."  
He reminds her with a smirk which is a little hard to keep up. The idea of Ted and Robin together is another form of torture.

Her eyebrows scrunched together, she shakes her head at him and starts to walk away but he can't let her go this soon, so he blocks her exit and utters the first thing that comes to his mind.

"I just wanted to know if you would take care of my suits... if I had to go away for a long time."

There's a beat of silence and then-  
"You asked me to come here this early to know if I would 'suit'-sit for you or not?!"  
She asks incredulously, an expression of disbelief on her face.

Now that he thinks about it, there's really no one else he could trust enough to do that for him. So he nods with as much sincerity as he can manage.

And that does it.

"Are you serious Barney?! You call me at 5 in the morning acting like a part of you just died so as to hire me...for your suits? Is this some kind of practical joke? Are there cameras recording all this?"  
She is almost shouting at him now.

"First of all Robin, you should be honored that such a great position is being bestowed upon you. And secondly I do not joke about something that important. These suits have been serving..."

"Yeah, yeah, spare me the lecture Stinson."  
She responds back, dismissively.

"...me for as long as I can remember. They are the most faithful of specimens. Making me look debonair through my various number of conquests..."  
And he continues on as if nothing happened.

"Okay! I will do it. Just. Stop. Talking!"  
Each one of the word's etched with frustration.

And he hugs her.

She freezes up at first, but then slowly wraps her hands around him saying, "You know, I actually have a pretty decent alarm clock ...so please try to wait till the evening, next time you want to appoint me as your suit-sitter."

All he can muster up is a small smile and a 'Thank God you are okay', which gets lost in her hair.

Once they break apart, Robin mutters something about getting to Marshall and Lily's baby shower and bids him goodbye.

"That girl is going to be the death of me."  
Barney speaks out to her fading frame.

What freaks him out is that he would not have her any other way.


	2. Chapter 2

Name: Outcome of the rough patch.

Context: Season 5, episode 7.

Word Count: 975.

Scotch; arguably the best drink ever. It's honest. It's classy. And it also comes in pretty handy when you want to shut off reality for a while.

This is what Robin Scherbatsky thinks as she takes a sip of what might just be her fifth glass. Or is it seventh? Ah well, who cares. The booth is cozy, the music is nice and she's alone.

Lily and the others left an hour ago. With all the sympathy talk over the break up, Robin is glad for once that they are not here. Of course it was not meant to be. She knew that. With Barney being... well, Barney. That guy never settles down for a single minute, forget about an entire relationship.

What gets to her is the way it all ended up. The old lady and the fat guy? Seriously? They were better than that. More awesome than that.

And she shouldn't be giving it so much thought.

It was doomed from the start. Dating a guy like him.

Sure they were very similar. And he made her happy, when he was not being a jerk about the relationship. Also, the sex was pretty amazing. Maybe even the best she ever had. Which is why the topic was off limits. One word and Lily would start with her 'True Love=Best Sex' theory...

And that was not possible. She could not be in _love_ with _Barney Stinson_. Those three words were never made to be in the same sentence.

It's not as if she didn't like him, she did, still does...as a friend of course.

Well, doesn't matter how she likes him. They were terrible together. They crashed and burned. The only thing that bothers her is if it did not work out with him then will it ever work out with anyone else?

He was her most compatible match.

And to be fair she became the main antagonist in the end. He did not turn into the bossy old hag. He succumbed to her. He tried...

It's while pondering over these thoughts that she notices Barney enter the bar. His brows are drawn together and he dejectedly takes a seat on the other side of the booth. This is almost like the setting following her break up with Simon. The only difference is that she isn't crying and he isn't complaining.

"You look constipated." She jokes.

"I can't find it anywhere! Are you happy now?!" He shouts in his characteristic childish manner.

"What were you looking for?" With all the 'tedding' out over their relationship, she has honestly lost track of what's happening with everyone.

"Your video! Just tell me where it is!" He whines out loud.

"And why would I do that?" She asks. The way he's still obsessed with her past cheers her up for some strange reason. Even though it shouldn't. So she tries to act as indifferent as she can.

"How about the fact that we dated?" He dishes out, nonchalantly, without a second thought.

"Yeah Barney, we 'dated' _._ Past tense." She retorts, just as seriously.

It's silent for a while after that. Both of them sit there taking it in. Maybe realising for the first time what it really means.

"What do you think went wrong? I remember being happy for a while in there." Robin asks, a tad of anguish supplementing the sentence, 'cause it's killing her to think that what they had crumbled because of her.

Most of her relationships did, anyway. The same thing happened with Ted. He was willing to settle down. She wasn't. Maybe there is something wrong with her, after all.

"You are blaming yourself for our breakup, aren't you?" Barney declares just like the way he accuses her of being a little minx sometimes.

"Nooooo" She squeaks, consuming the giggles that may have accompanied it.

"Good work, Scherbatsky. You have improved at the lying front. Well, even if you don't now then you will start to soon enough."

In response to her protests he simply says-

"I know you, Robin Scherbatsky. Believe it or not we 'dated'."

That gets a smile out of her and she shuts up. He continues on.

"And you should know this. It was not your fault. If someone's to be blamed it's me. I was not ready for it. You saw what a great boyfriend I was, didn't you?" The humour almost masks the regret behind his words. Almost.

"You were alright." She answers. _Actually better_ _than most._ Where is this coming from?

And he is looking at her that way, as if she's the only one who matters and it's making her stomach fill with butterflies.

So she makes a go for it.

"It's getting late. I should take off."

"Yeah, yeah. It's getting late."

Robin's out of the booth when he starts again.

"Hey! Do you think...maybe once I am ready, the girl that I... like...would she go out with me?" All of it is spoken in a sincere yet nervous babble.

"Without a doubt." She replies with a grin, solemnly.

The alcohol is rebuked for what comes out of her mouth next.

"It Space Teens. The 'Robin Sparkles' phase... started from a TV show called Space Teens. "

The way he responds back, like Katie when she gets the Christmas present she wanted, sporting a smile that could light up the entire room- it does all kinds of things to her heart and she flees.

That night Robin realises two things.

First: Of all the people out there, she's in love with Barney Stinson; her ex-boyfriend who might never be ready for a relationship. Second: Marshall literally can't sleep if he does not have something of Lily, literally, by his side. At least her voice is enough for him.

And, spoiler alert, all the 'literally's in here are not a force of habit, mind you.


	3. Chapter 3

Name: Before Ted and Robin decide to move in together.

Context: Season 2, episode 16.

Word Count: 565.

It's a nice day. A really really nice day.

Normally, these statements would not be that great of a deal. However if you consider the fact that they were uttered in reference to the borderlines of Canada...well what are you waiting for?

Get out of your trench coats and start jumping at the balls of your feet in the two feet snow!

If only everyone was enjoying it.

Somewhere around upstate New York a car moved at the speed of eighty for a about three seconds, then slowed down, coming to a standstill. Just shy of a few centimeters from the big Pine tree ahead.

The silence _that_ brings forth is broken by the girl at the wheel shrieking out-

"What do you think you are doing, Barney?!"

The man beside her, waking up from a stupor, replies "Try saving us from this tree!" While pointing at the object in concern.

"By running into it?" The girl interrogates, scathingly.

"That was what you were doing! Wake up Robin! 'Cause if you keep up driving like this then we are going to die. And believe me, the world is not ready to let go of my awesomeness yet." Barney replies, as serious as can be.

"Ha ha ha. Says the guy who thought the accelerator was the brake! Don't you know how to drive?" She asks.

"Please..." He responds with a flick of his hands, albeit nervously. Lucky for him that goes unnoticed by his companion, who is too busy dealing with her own misery.

The sniffing noise beside Barney has him turning towards Robin weeping beside him.

"Are you crying?" He inquires appalled. 'Cause she's one of the strongest people he knows and seriously...tears do not suit her.

"It's nothing. My eyes are sweating a little, that's all." Robin sniffs again.

"And so is your nose?" He proposes, in lieu of a joke.

She gives him a look which seems tired and somehow defeated. That triggers something inside him and he pulls her in for a hug.

For the rest of the trip they pretend that Robin never really cried on Barney's shoulder and that he did not actually let her ruin his suit in the process.

Once they are back at the car rental station Robin starts- "Thanks for bearing with me out there. It's just back when I was little I could only play with my dog, I had then, in that kind of weather. And such conditions were pretty rare. So, I guess the entire thing reminded me of the irony that even though I had the perfect setting...I could not enjoy it with my dogs now."

"Ah, the perks of being born in the land of the loony-ies...with a 'y'." Barney sympathizes mockingly.

And that gets him a punch in the gut.

"Hey! You keep that up lady, and you will end up losing this awesome friend." He threatens, like a little kid.

She half-laughs half-snorts at him and with her face flushed from all the crying, and that ridiculous smile on her face, the thought strikes him out of nowhere.

 _You could never do that even if you wanted to._

Robin retaliates, then, teasingly- "My awesome friend who had to wear a women's coat to survive back in the farm?"

"It's not my fault that God wanted a re-enactment of that particular scene from 'The Chronicles of Narnia'!"


	4. Chapter 4

Name: What proceeded the naked man.

Context: Season 4, episode 9.

Word Count: 520.

It's one in the morning and Mac Laren's is fairly empty. Just a few people who like to start their day with some very early drinks. Or maybe they are ending it. Most of them are anyway.

A brunette enters the bar with some sort of a package and makes her way to the alley behind it. Once the door is closed she shouts out-

"Where are you Barney?"

"Say the code Robin." A voice comes from somewhere around the trash cans. Making her way towards it, Robin lets out a final-

"No, I'm not doing that."

"It's not that hard!" Barney whines emerging from beside the bins.

The timing could not have been more perfect.

It seems like the world stops moving all of a sudden and they are the only ones present in it. The few seconds that follow feel like an eternity.

Time un-pauses itself when the box hits the ground and Robin turns away murmuring-"Oh God!"

"It's nothing you haven't seen before." Barney says slightly irritated. Shouldn't she be basking in his naked awesomeness? Well so was the girl before, he counters, taking out his suit from the box.

"Why the hell are you naked in the first place?" Robin asks, clearly flustered.

"Because it's Thursday?" Barney offers lamely.

"Wait, were you trying the naked man?" The realization dawning on her.

"Noooooo…" He replies, unconvincingly.

His response is met with a disbelieving silence.

"Alright! So what if I was!" He exclaims like a child.

"Which, and this is just me speaking, did not work out for you so well?" She enquires, amused.

"You can turn around now." Barney answers in his no-nonsense manner.

"Hey, if it helps, at least you are not being called a slut." Robin consoles, facing him now.

"Huh. And you are?" He says sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"Why? Wait…is it because you slept with Mitch?" He asks, incredulously.

She just nods back.

"First of all Robin, there's no shame in that. I do it all the time." That has Robin holding up an expression whose censored translation would be: 'Seriously, Dude?'

He continues anyway- "Secondly, that guy revolutionized the one night stand! Even if it works for two out of three times, someone had to reward him for such a great discovery. And I don't see anyone else stepping up..." She's smiling by now.

"Also, if you could turn down this…" He says gesturing towards himself - "than you are definitely not a slut."

Robin gives him a somewhat thankful look, shaking her head a little, and states- "That girl does not know what an awesome thing she is missing…and I say that from personal experience."

Whatever bitter feelings he may have had over that rejection vanishes, to be replaced by a drunk-like euphoria.

"I would not really blame her. She was a slave of the rules." Barney declares good-naturedly.

"The 'two out of three' thing?"

"Yup"

Opening the door for her, Barney thinks-

'Home is where the heart is'. Whoever said that must be pretty whipped too.


	5. Chapter 5

Name: Last stop of the subway.

Context: Season 6, episode 4.

Word Count: 270.

"How was your day?" A very common question which must be asked by millions of people in the overall time period of twenty-four hours.

Yet that everyday occurrence has Robin choke at her drink and then do a double take to make sure it's Barney who's talking and not some random bloke trying to strike up a conversation.

With that out of the way, she then scans the entire bar for possible targets, but at this time of night the pickings are pretty slim. Close to zero, in fact. She herself was about to leave, when Barney brought some beers and sat across from her on the booth.

So let's just say that Robin never really planned on sitting there open-mouthed, staring at him.

Barney then repeats the question bemusedly, due to her lack of response, surprised and the slightest bit annoyed at the reaction it had elicited earlier. He could not have been that much of a jerk. _Right?_

His query brings her back to earth and Robin wonders; how _was_ her day?

Well... she could not get a cab and had to take the crowded subway. Becky's reign is still pretty intact back at the station. And New York, in general, was still making her want to move back to Canada.

Yeah, it has been one of those days when you just want to stay home in your jammies and never get out of the house.

But, he is sitting there expectantly. Actually trying to know how everything is going. And the words come out of her mouth at their own accord.

"It just got a little better."


	6. Chapter 6

Name: First impressions.

Context: Season 1 Episode 8.

Word Count: 193.

"You still don't think the lemon law should exist?" Barney asks with disbelief.

"Hmmm...nah. If first impressions really did tell you all there is to a person, then we would not be having this conversation. I remember thinking you were one of those overdressed, corporate dweebs who only lived for his work, and some of us friends had taken an oath to stay away from guys like that. Well...at least half of them broke it by the next day, anyway." Robin explains.

"Huh. But maybe there's, at least, some truth in it. My first thoughts about you were that 'she's not my type.' And wasn't I right?" Barney says.

"As in, the 'won't sleep with me' kind?" Robin questions.

"It mostly consisted of the fact that you were the kind of girl guys fall in love with. And yeah, that too. Well, not on the first try anyway." He answers with a smile, leaving her speechless.

"Did you really think I was overdressed?" He queries, after a few seconds, the slightest bit hysterical.

"You were wearing a suit in, what was supposed to be, a party.


	7. Chapter 7

Name: Getting married.

Context: Season 1, episode 16.

Word Count: 270.

"Hey, how's the dress shopping with Lily going?"

"You called to ask me that?"

"Of course not. Just thought you should know this; Ted might be single again!"

"Why are you getting so excited? Planning on asking him out or something?"

"Please… you would not last for more than a second if I was your competition."

"Uh…good to know. So, how are things with Marshall?"

"He's acting like a baby! Won't take the job I offered him. Can you believe this guy?!"

"I don't know what's that all about, but yeah he will have to get a job if he wants to pay for Lily's wedding dress."

"Wow. Going for something that expensive? She has got more balls than Marshall."

"Well, she didn't until her butt decided to sit on a cake."

"I see, quite literally...YES!"

"What happened?! Did the Vancouver Canucks win?!"

"No…but I know I will. With a little more incentive Marshall has to say yes!"

"Are you going to propose? 'We-just-got-engaged' sex is pretty good, I hear."

"It really is. But, sadly for Marshall, I am not into monogamous girls."

"Oh, how devastated he will be!"

"Yeah. Hey, I was thinking…You wanna get married? 'We-just-got-engaged' sex is pretty good, I hear."

"Hmmm. No; the next time you try this out, give a better reason and she actually might agree to it."

"Alright. Fair enough. So, see you at Mac Laren's then?"

"Okay. Bye."

What neither of them realizes is that Barney will make good on his promise and suffice it to say, he always did get the yes.

Even if it took seven years in the making.


	8. Chapter 8

Name: Once the dream is finished.

Context: Season 3, episode 2.

Word Count: 215.

They are sitting in their booth, clinking glasses over Robin's-literal-dream girl. Commending her on a job well done.

Then Barney fills her in on the new tactic he gained from that Argentinian Girl of hers, which might be the only good thing that came out of this entire fiasco.(his exact words), and how Ted ruined the entirety of it with his undying hatred for New Jersey.

Marshall and Lily's death letters come up next and after making fun of them all, they settle down into a comfortable silence.

By this time they are just a little drunk with the all the glasses of scotch ordered in between. So, the conversation that follows is blamed on the alcohol.

"I still can't believe what Ted did today. If you hate New Jersey so much then why let it ruin a perfectly executed play that was working so well! I feel like a father whose kid would rather sleep with geography than a girl." Barney complains.

"I hear ya, buddy. You should have seen Lily going at it over that letter thing. It was like trying to console a baby..." Robin sympathizes.

And it hits them both just a second too late.

"Oh no."

"No... that's not possible...no..."

"We could never...no."

"I should get going."

"Yeah. Me too."


	9. Chapter 9

Name: She chooses the band.

Context: Season 8, episode 13.

Word Count: 125.

It's on her way back home that Robin gets the idea. Sitting in a cab, she calls Barney to make sure he's running late.

"Don't worry babe, we are doing it the second I get back. I know you can't wait." He says.

"And you can?" She asks, coyly.

"When is this meeting going to end?" He replies, desperate.

"I will see you later." She smiles while disconnecting the phone.

Now, where could you get a tiger skin rug from?

That night, when Barney gets back to his apartment, Robin greets him clad in a genie-like dress. After performing the traditional dance of the seven viels, she purrs into his ear-

"Get ready to have an awesome night, Mr. Stinson."

And, awesome it was.


	10. Chapter 10

Name: Jealous.

Context: Season 4, episode 13.

Word Count: 90.

"You hit on Marshall!" Barney says sliding into the booth.

"Of everyone out there, including me, you hit on Marshall! He's married, you know! To Lily! So, now you are into guys who have tied the knot with Lily?! Wait, it's not guys, but a guy. Maybe even a girl; Marshall! You hit on Marshall!" He shouts again.

"And why would I do that?" Robin retorts.

"Uhhh..."

"Exactly."

She then explains to him what had happened, to which his only answer is-

"Oh"


	11. Chapter 11

Name: Homelands.

Context: Season 7, episode 8.

Word Count: 205.

A flag here, and some balloons there. The wallpaper isn't looking so shabby either.

"Yup. This is going to be perfect." Robin speaks out to the empty apartment while pinning the last poster to the wall.

"Huh. Nice stapler." She comments moving towards the door, checking her watch on the way out, a smile on her face.

It's when she is in a cab, going back home, that Barney calls her.

"Why does my place look like Canada just threw up in here?!" He shouts at the phone, standing in the middle of an apartment that is covered with the Big White North's maple leaf till the very last inch, sounding angry and exasperated.

Robin just replies with a simple- "Wait for it..."

And the TV in Barney's living room comes to life with what looks like some Mounties marching down the street, the Canadian national anthem playing in the background.

"OH, COME ON!" He shrieks.

"Happy belated Canada day!"

-x-x-x-

"What's my stapler doing in your room?" Asks Ted, incredulously, holding the object in concern which is labeled 'Property of Ted'.

"Ummm... thanks for lending it to me?"


	12. Chapter 12

Name: The end of the aisle.

Context: Season 9, episode 22.

Word Count: 101.

As they hug in that tent Robin can tell; Barney is as afraid as she is.

Which is why when he asks, all nervous and shaking: "Why are we doing this again?

Robin tells him what she feels are the truest words she has said in that entire day.

"Because I love you more than anything else in this world."

The look he gives her then, answers her following question even before he does.

"And because you love me too?"

"I do."

 _Do you, Robin Scherbatsky, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?_

"Challenge accepted."


	13. Chapter 13

Name: Prom.

Context: Season 1, episode 20.

Word Count: 76.

"Hey, you forgot your date!" Barney complains.

"Where were you the entire night?" Robin asks in return.

"Teaching some kids how to live. You know, the usual. So...may I have this dance?"

"Just promise not to puke on me." She says, taking his outstretched hand.

Not many out there can boast about getting married to their prom date. Let's just that Robin's not one of those. And as it turns out, neither is Barney.


	14. Chapter 14

Name: Little things.

Context: Season 2, episode 3.

Word Count: 106.

Context: Season 2, episode 3.

How the hell did Barney notice that there was something wrong with her shoes?! Robin wonders.

The straps of one of the flip-flops had broken so she had just cut off the other one's too, in order to make them look like a decent pair. Her pants covered them anyway. She made sure of that.

Even Lily could not point it out. And as for Ted, he never really paid much attention to that kind of stuff.

So, when did he become Sherlock Holmes?! She thinks, gaping at Barney a little.

He moves away then and she's distracted by the knock on the door.


	15. Chapter 15

Name: Friends.

Context: Season 2, episode 5.

Word Count: 88.

"How's the married life treating you? Not so good?" Robin asks Barney on the phone.

"Lily told you."

"So, watching Lettermen now?" She teases.

"Of course not!" He exclaims.

"Really?"

"Alright! But it's Lily's fault! She got me hooked!" He replies, whining all the way.

"Ohhhhh, are you crying? Should I call your wife?" Robin mock-comforts him.

"This is going to go on for a while. Isn't it?" He sighs.

"Of course. You should know better than to ask. You are a family man!"


	16. Chapter 16

Name: Seventeen.

Context:Season 3, episode 5.

Word Count: 154.

After they are done teasing Ted about his online-dating-game, so much that he leaves but not before screaming out to the entire world about how cool it is.

Lily than says dinosaurs and takes off with Marshall.

It's just them then, sitting side by side, when Barney pops the question.

"So, sixteen 'Nos' huh. Am I really that bad?"

"It's not that. Okay? I just said it in the moment. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you." Robin says.

"Well..." He slurs suggestively.

"No...Come on Barney. We are friends. Why ruin that? And there's the history with Ted...it will just end up messing the dynamic of the group."

"Fine." He mutters dejectedly.

"See ya tomorrow." With that she gets up and walks off.

Once she's gone, Barney increases the count to 17.

Seventeen 'Nos'. He thinks morosely.

For some unfathomable reason, it hurts.


	17. Chapter 17

Name: Driving License.

Context: Season 3, episode 15

Word Count: 351.

The night sky has taken over the entire city and around Barney's vision too, as he walks with Robin leading him, a cloth covering his eyes.

"Are we there yet?!" Barney squeals with barely hidden glee.

"Just a few more blocks." Robin says.

"I don't get it. Not that I am complaining, but what's the surprise for anyway?" He asks.

"Consider it an early birthday present."

"There's still two months left for it." He states matter-of-factly.

"Maybe that's the surprise?" She offers.

"Ohhhhh...and here I thought Lily was going to sleep with me." Barney lets out disappointed.

"Believe me buddy, that's not going to happen... Okay, now duck a little and move your left leg towards the right. Then shift inside and just sit on the seat there." Robin instructs.

"Is Lily going to strip?!"

"Just get inside."

Robin leaves him to it and moves away.

"Okay, I am here. Now what?"

"Now you drive and I get to sit here!" She replies from beside him, uncovering his eyes.

Barney opens them to find himself in front of the steering wheel.

"Hey! I called shotgun for eternity!"

"Told you it doesn't count."

"But..."

"No buts. Now start driving."

"I have no reason to just sit here and take this injustice. Ciao miss." And he starts to open the door. But it doesn't budge.

"Looking for the keys?" Robin asks, dangling them in front of his face.

"I will just go sit in the back."

"I am pretty sure Marshall and Lily did it in there."

"..." Barney stays put.

"So, where are we headed?"

"I am not driving, alright!"

"You can't, or you won't?"

"I can!"

"Prove it."

"Okay! So maybe I still don't know how to drive!"

"That's going to change today. If you learn how to drive till the end of this night, then I will succumb to the fact that you called shotgun for eternity... as long as it's Ted's car we are talking about."

"Fine!"

"Wow, that was easy. Well... here's the accelerator and gas pedal-"

"I know that!"

And so it starts.


	18. Chapter 18

Name: Denial.

Context: Season 4, episode 20.

Word Count:82.

It freaks her out. It really freaks her out.

The way he looks at her nowadays, as if she's the only one out there. The double checks he does to see if she's laughing at his jokes or not. The sudden exclamations on how she's the greatest woman on the planet.

It really really freaks her out. To be honest, it really really really freaks her out.

To be even more honest, it doesn't.

And that freaks her out all the more.


	19. Chapter 19

Name: Bond.

Context: Season 5, episode 0.

Word Count: 193.

"Now that we are...uhhh, what are we again?" Barney asks, confused.

"You don't have to name it." Robin replies, simply.

"Fine. Whatever-that-we-are, we can't be until and unless we do this." He declares holding up a CD.

"Have sex over it?" She guesses.

"No, we are going to watch 'Field of Dreams' till you end up liking it. But yeah, we can do your thing too once this is done." He offers inserting the disc into the TV.

"And, I can't believe I am saying this..." He lets out, on second thought, as if the very idea is hurting him and continues-

"No sleeping. Not even with me, until you really understand how awesome it is."

"Who are you right now?" Robin asks, surprised.

"Hush...the movie's getting started!" He says with the excitement of a child, all cheerful now.

About some 107 minutes later.

"That was a great movie! Wasn't it?!...hey, are you crying?...Aww, come here."

"No... I am not!...Did you...see the part...where Ray plays ball with...with his father?" Sniffing in between.

"Yeah, Barney. I did." Robin answers, his head on her lap and her hands in his hair.


	20. Chapter 20

Name: The Playbook.

Context: Season 5, episode 8.

Word Count: 129.

It should not come off as a big surprise. This is Barney. He is supposed to be sleazy. Even if it's after they broke up.

Especially if it's after they broke up.

That would just earn him more points. Take him to a higher level of being a jackass. Thinks Robin, as they sit there taking it all in.

The scuba diver? Insecurities that don't really exist? Really?

That hits a little too close to home.

So, she runs. That's something she's really good at, after all.

"It's getting late. I should take off." Robin says, standing up.

"You okay, Robin?" Asks Lily, on behalf of everyone, concerned.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She replies, giving herself some credit for not crying that very second.


	21. Chapter 21

Name: Favours.

Context: Season 6, episode 1.

Word Count: 276.

"Thanks, Barney."

"For what? I am sorry... I do a lot of awesome stuff everyday, so it's hard keeping track of them all."

"For all the heckling over loosing my hotness, which I will never. But yeah, I needed that...so, thanks."

"You are welcome."


	22. Chapter 22

Name: To be there, always.

Context: Season 6, episode 23.

Word Count: 82.

Marshall and Ted are going to speak against him.

Okay. Maybe it's GNB, but he works for them so, by extension they really are going to go against him. As will Lily, because of the same reason. She is Marshall's wife.

What gets him through is that Robin's still there for him. With him. Supporting him through all of it.

And, with the risk of sounding extremely cheesy, Barney thinks that he can take on the entire world if she's beside him.


	23. Chapter 23

Name: What could have been and what is.

Context: Season 7, episode 9.

Word Count:70.

Barney's going to meet Nora's parents in two days.

They are at that point in their relationship where Barney, womanizer extraordinaire, would be meeting Nora's parents.

Nora.

Not her, but Nora.

As Ted continues with the boogie-boarding story, Robin holds on to Kevin's hand for dear life while Barney's jaw clenches just a little more.


	24. Chapter 24

Name: Holding on and letting go.

Context: Season 8, episode 1.

Word Count: 85.

He's with Quinn now. Quinn; who's a stripper. Quinn; with whom he might just be doing it right now. Quinn; the girl he's going to get married to.

But she does not care.

No. Robin does not care. At all. On how much it hurts to think that they could have had that. So sitting in that storage area, looking at a picture of them together, she lets go of him.

Ah, well...at least she tries.


	25. Chapter 25

Name: Apologies.

Context:Season 8, episode 14.

Word Count:215.

The bedroom is full of colourful scented candles, burning up, with the bed littered by rose petals. It's pretty beautiful.

It's pretty hauntingly familiar too.

"Do you like it?" Robin says, leaning against the doorframe, a tad bit nervous.

"What's this all about?" Barney replies, serious as hell, because it's too same to the setting he had created last year to actually have a romantic intent behind it.

"Ted told me." She answers, moving towards him a little.

That explains it. He thinks without much interest.

At his lack of response, Robin continues on with a desperate note to her voice.

"I am sorry, Barney. Alright? I know it was supposed to be you. I should have come back to you."

"Why didn't you?" He asks for what seems to be the umpteenth time, but this will be the first that she actually hears.

"The last time we broke up, it nearly ruined me. Getting over you was...very hard. I was afraid that another round at-at that and...well... I-I was being really really selfish..."

Barney cuts her off then, pulling her in for a kiss. With their foreheads touching, he mumbles-

"You are an idiot."

Eventhough her confession does not make up for all the pain he had go through, it helps. A lot.


	26. Chapter 26

Name:Want&need.

Context:Season 9, episode 4.

Word Count:121.

Stripping out of his jacket and shoes, Barney gets in the bed with Robin already in it. Spooning her in himself his hands find hers, their rings brushing together. He can tell that she has been crying.

"You okay?" He asks.

"I am sorry that i can't make scrambled eggs" She murmurs, her voice breaking a little.

"Hey, I am not marrying you for your culinary skills...or lack thereof." Barney says.

"Not helping!" Robin let's out.

"Okay. How about this? If I am ever hungry then...I can just have you for breakfast. Now _that_ is something I am marrying you for."

Laughing now, she turns towards him.

"I love you, you know?"

"I love you too."

Sometimes, that's all you need.


	27. Chapter 27

Name: Epiphanies.

Context: Season 9, episode 20.

Word Count:175.

They are on the balcony. Robin and her mom. Making small talk over Marshall and Lily going at at like bunnies.

Then Genevieve starts consoling her daughter over the entire concept of marriage. Comparing hers with the couple's inside and also to her mortal dread of flying.

She then goes on saying that if Robin has got someone who's really there for her, someone she can depend on...she's gonna be fine.

And during the entire impassioned speech, the only person that comes to her mind is Barney. Not Ted. Not Marshall. Not even Lily.

But Barney.

So when Robin's mother asks her if she has someone like that, she has to take a minute to make sure her mind is working straight. 'Cause of all of them Barney is most definitely the last person to fit that resume.

It's then she realizes with a start that he may not be the most reliable guy, but he is the guy for _her._

Marvelling at the epiphany a little she replies. "I do."


	28. Chapter 28

Name: Days.

Context: Season 7, episode 4.

Word Count: 252.

It's Robin's day. Her big day.

Her birthday.

Sadly, there are no surprises, ever, 'cause well...Lily is her friend too. After the round of the expected gift's distribution, it's time to start the celebration. So Robin goes to the kitchen to bring out the Johnny Walker she had been saving for this very occasion.

While rummaging through the cabinets she hears someone clear their throat. Turning around Robin finds Barney standing at the doorway, his hands at his back, with a smirk on his face.

"As much as I liked the birthday gift of your 'awesome presence', I might just return it if you do not keep it at a limit." She says dryly.

That gets out a full fledged grin.

"Here's something to prevent that" Moving closer to her he replies, handing out a wrapped package. As Robin opens it he announces, all bravado.

"If you still want to give it back, then go ahead. Your loss." He peers at her reaction to that.

Robin on her part stands there gaping at the Canuck's jersey in her hand with the autograph of all the players. Getting back her senses somehow she asks him, "How...when... _how_?!"

"Please..." He answers with a flick of his hand.

"But yeah, Lily was onto me about it. Just told her it was for Nora. And she fell for it! Hmm, of course she did. I am awesome."

It's after that soulful deceleration that she hugs him murmuring-

"Yes you are."

While a smiling Lily watches on, leaning on the doorway.


	29. Chapter 29

Name: Kisses.

Context: Season 5, episode 3.

Word Count: 247.

 _Kids it was one fateful day, not in the month of May, when Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin were still toge_ _ther_ _..._

"Can you believe this? Robin won't let me keep the storm trooper!"

"You mean that diaper baby?"

"How did we get married?!"

"Lily, what you call a 'diaper baby' is, even I have to admit it, the pinnacle of awesomeness and Barney should totally tell us where he got it from."

"Please..."

"Damn it! At least tell Marshall so he can tell me!"

"That storm-pooper has to go."

"Oh, come on!"

They have a stare down for a second and then start ordering every type of scotch from the bar. On their fifth drink their eyes meet across the booth and suddenly-

"We have to go..."

"Yeah. Very very important work..."

And they are out of the bar in a second.

"Wow, no words required."

"So...who's gonna pay for this?"

Lily takes a swing of the glass lying on the table.

"I know I am not."

"Lily, I am pretty sure that _that_ was Barney's glass."

"No, it's Robin's. That is why I took it. Because well,...it's stupid...so stupid."

"Uh...you know that means you two kissed. _Barney_ and you."

"But... _noooooooo!_ "

"Yes. She just kissed Barney, Marshall. No need to shout. And, wow, it was not the other way round."

"He never gets to know about this!"

 _He did get to know about it. But that's another story._

Somewhere, about twenty-three minutes away from the bar Robin pants, lifting off the helmet and, clutching the couch while trying to stand up.

"The... storm-trooper...stays."


	30. Chapter 30

Name: The Doormat.

Context: Season 1, episode 15.

Word Count: 170.

As Robin thanks Ted for the doormat he did not anonymously gift her, something in Barney's stomach falls and he has to blame it to jealousy because otherwise it's...food poisoning. And he's too awesome for that. But as Ted denies her claim and tells her that it was not him, Barney starts sweating profusely at the prospect of getting caught.

And when Robin turns to him with a cocked eyebrow thanking him for the same, he can't not deny it. So much that the more he tries, the more she is convinced it was him.

"Alright, thank you for the doormat you so did _not_ buy." Having said that she smiles a smile that he will crave for the next few years to come.

Robin then makes her way to Ted and Barney suddenly remembers that she has that school-girl crush on him and out of nowhere his stomach falls a little deeper. This time he rebukes it to food poisoning.

It has to be food poisoning.


	31. Chapter 31

Name: Sharing.

Context: Season 1, episode 6.

Word Count: 115.

They are at the bar. Again

It should not come off as a big surprise by now. Mac Laren's is practically their second home and anyway, it's just Lily, Robin and Barney today. After talking about this and that which ends up with Lily saying 'Ewww' and a smiling Robin rolling her eyes, Barney orders himself an ice-cream.

It's when Barney starts eating his ice-cream and Robin tries to have some and Barney literally growls at her and Robin shocked at first goes in for another swipe and another and another, just to mess with him, that Lily realises-

She may have found Robin Scherbatsky's soulmate.


	32. Chapter 32

Name: Cute.

Context: Season 8, episode 12.

Word Count: 395.

Eventhough he said that it will always be team Tedward, there are times when Marshall wonders if he will be able to bear a world without Barney and Robin together. They are just so...weirdly, imperfectly, perfect...

After the initial surprise over the message that Barney had sent, Lily somehow managed to coarse out the entire story with an image of "The Robin's" supplementing it. And it all fell into place.

Huh. They do make a lot of sense together.

Marshall's pretty sure that Barney would have spotted a pretty cheap innuendo in that sentence.

He remembers how broken that man was when Robin had chosen Kevin over him. His suit all disheveled, dried off tears still evident on his face. That person had been nothing like the Barney he had ever known.

Well, talking about not knowing someone, sometimes Marshall still can't believe Robin cried over the break-up with Barney. The high and mighty tomboy of a robot, whom he would have never expected to have the ability to shed actual real life tears.

Life is pretty unexpected that way.

It's then that the newly engaged couple enter the bar in all their glory, and after the round of celebratory drinks they settle into their normal routine as Barney starts narrating an incident that happened yesterday night.

"So we are at this five-star restaurant, and after eating the food we get out of it and it's when we get home that we realise..."

"That none of us actually paid for it!" Robin and Barney finish together.

The booth is silent for a while after that. And the two of them stare at each other for a second, all flabbergasted, Barney then breaks out into a grin and says-

"I guess awesome things happen with awesome people, huh?"

"Yeah, they do!" Robin replies and they have an over-the-head hi five and continue on as if nothing occurred.

Wow. That was, and he never thought he would say it when it comes to them, actually...cute. So cute that Marshall fears they might steal his and Lily's 'cutest couple' label in their little group.

"I need to pee" Barney murmurs then. As he makes his way towards the bathroom, Robin lets out, "I will help him with it."

Hmmm...maybe their title is still safe, Marshall thinks with a smile.


	33. Chapter 33

Name: Miracle.

Context: Season 4, episode 24.

Word Count: 95.

Marshall and Lily have gone to the vending machine leaving Robin behind with Barney. Bedridden, hurt, and a true-bro, he asks her if she stopped believing in miracles because she forgot she is one.

Robin is too flabbergasted to reply back to that and he continues, muttering how he accepts the challenge and will now keep on reminding her that she is.

A miracle.

Throughout his speech she spots an unidentifiable emotion in his eyes and blaming it on the morphine just replies back with a laugh, at what she assumes is a joke.


End file.
